Having friends is great, isn’t it? Someone who actively checks in on how you’re doing deeply caring and continuing to acknowledge you as a person exists in the society. Life feels a lot more meaningful with friends aka the people who need you for emotional support.

Why is it hard?

I’m quite giving and helpful in nature. It takes me a lot of effort to actually ask for money from my friends and family. So I better stay off it.

If I see someone as my dearest friend, I simply cannot take money from them unless they absolutely compel me to. You know what I’m the kind of guy that pays all my friends’ bills while at a party or a restaurant.

My values for friendship are quite different from what I expect in a business partner. In my previous cases, they never matched. And I never want to lose my friendship over a business venture.

There arises a scenario in business where you’ll have to make a decision that can be detrimental to your friendship. Often a simple binary decision could put my friendship at stake.

Old Business Story

It was back in 2015, I had been running a server reselling business online. I had a buddy of mine help me in business not explicitly as a co-founder, but just when I shared with him how I started an internet company outta nothing.

Everything was fun, well, and right. Until the day came when there had been a word war between him and my other partner. Both ended up using a plethora of profanity against each other.

Swords came against me in both directions when both of ’em called to report the situation. After assessing, there were mistakes on both parties.

I wanted to favor my friend, but that would not mean very well for the latter. So, I ended up dismantling the business.

So who’s responsible for this mess? Me. As a popular quote likely used by doctors says “Prevention is better than treatment”.

I should have politely refused and must have taken action to keep my business and friendship far from each other. Crazy mistake but hell yeah worth it now cuz I’m never repeating this mistake ever again.

Did my relationship with ’em change? Hell no. I love to take the blame here. I want to be held responsible for my actions. So, I’ll continue being friends with them. Though I won’t partner with them. I would still continue to help & support in ways I can to see their business prosper.

While it was a bad experience, I realized when I work in business, I need to work with people I have no partiality over. Completely neutral and a stranger, so I can make decisions that are right for the business.

Expectations

I expect certain qualities from a business partner that I do not expect in a friend. For example, let’s consider Commitment – Let’s say there’s an XYZ event where their presence is expected. If they fail to show up, below would be my responses.

As a friend, I’m chill about his absence. I’ll just assume he screwed up something lately.

As a partner, I’m not okay at all unless there’s a critical reason. If it ain’t anything serious, the least I expect is to be informed in advance.

As a friend (while also being a partner), I end up having a cognitive dissonance. I don’t want to question him as it goes against my values of friendship. But I also want to question him because I expect heightened levels of commitment as a partner.

Business with friends work under one case

ie. if I’m not already friends with them before.

One of my close partners I lately worked with. We met over IRC (you likely need some googling) 10 years ago (2013), and he consulted me on operating a game server, its budget, and expenses. Being his repeat customer over time, we both had a burning desire to craft something great for the world. We connected up and built mega apps for the corps. All these meetings we had for work also made us bond personally. We became friends.

So Here Goes My Final Take

Friendships made in the process of doing business together are the best.